There's nothing wrong with venting every now and then. Likewise, getting a second opinion from a friend can be a wise decision when you're unsure how to deal with a problem. However, when you're venting your frustrations in an invitation-only Skype group with a fairly large audience (maybe something in the ballpark of 30-40 people?), that's beginning to sound a whole lot like "talking behind someone's back." When you get to that point, venting becomes a lot less healthy - especially when you're complaining about an individual that other people in the group interact with regularly.
It's been quite a few months since I'm been in the Unofficial Skype Group, so I can't make a fair evaluation of what the group's atmosphere has been like lately. I will say that one of the major reasons why I left the group is because there was a lot of negativity and bickering, usually about trivial things that didn't even interest me. I've tried to stay out of Skype disputes lately, but when problems start on Skype and spread to the forums, it's necessary for the staff to know what's going on. Again, I haven't been in that group for a while, so I don't know what it's been like in recent months.
Thinking back to my days when I was constantly engrossed in the joy of endless academic team projects, I encountered quite a few people who frustrated me at some point in time. I can't say I never complained about them in a publicly-accessible online community - although in those cases, the odds of any of you ever encountering and recognizing those people are about nil. Either way, I found that if I was having a problem, communicating with the other person in a civil way always resulted in a better understanding of the problem and an improvement in the situation. Even in other online communities where I'm not an admin, talking directly, openly, and respectfully with members who were butting heads didn't hurt. And, of course, if someone is breaking the rules on MFGG, you can always hit the "Report" button so the staff can take a look at any iffy posts.
I would like to reiterate that while my "Be Nice" lecture focused on the MFGG forums and mainsite, it wouldn't hurt to apply these principles elsewhere in the online world - and in real life, too! I don't expect people to pretend to be rainbows and sunshine every second of every day, but if you find yourself disliking too many people too strongly, the problem could the person you see when you look in the mirror. You might need to work on reacting to frustration in a healthier manner. Lastly, it's worth remembering that most of the things people disagree about on the Internet aren't incredibly important in the grand scheme of things, so sometimes it's best just to take a step back, chill out, and "let it go."
Last, but not least, I can give you cute kitties too.
There's nothing wrong with venting every now and then. Likewise, getting a second opinion from a friend can be a wise decision when you're unsure how to deal with a problem. However, when you're venting your frustrations in an invitation-only Skype group with a fairly large audience (maybe something in the ballpark of 30-40 people?), that's beginning to sound a whole lot like "talking behind someone's back." When you get to that point, venting becomes a lot less healthy - especially when you're complaining about an individual that other people in the group interact with regularly.
It's been quite a few months since I'm been in the Unofficial Skype Group, so I can't make a fair evaluation of what the group's atmosphere has been like lately. I will say that one of the major reasons why I left the group is because there was a lot of negativity and bickering, usually about trivial things that didn't even interest me. I've tried to stay out of Skype disputes lately, but when problems start on Skype and spread to the forums, it's necessary for the staff to know what's going on. Again, I haven't been in that group for a while, so I don't know what it's been like in recent months.
Thinking back to my days when I was constantly engrossed in the joy of endless academic team projects, I encountered quite a few people who frustrated me at some point in time. I can't say I never complained about them in a publicly-accessible online community - although in those cases, the odds of any of you ever encountering and recognizing those people are about nil. Either way, I found that if I was having a problem, communicating with the other person in a civil way always resulted in a better understanding of the problem and an improvement in the situation. Even in other online communities where I'm not an admin, talking directly, openly, and respectfully with members who were butting heads didn't hurt. And, of course, if someone is breaking the rules on MFGG, you can always hit the "Report" button so the staff can take a look at any iffy posts.
I would like to reiterate that while my "Be Nice" lecture focused on the MFGG forums and mainsite, it wouldn't hurt to apply these principles elsewhere in the online world - and in real life, too! I don't expect people to pretend to be rainbows and sunshine every second of every day, but if you find yourself disliking too many people too strongly, the problem could the person you see when you look in the mirror. You might need to work on reacting to frustration in a healthier manner. Lastly, it's worth remembering that most of the things people disagree about on the Internet aren't incredibly important in the grand scheme of things, so sometimes it's best just to take a step back, chill out, and "let it go."
Last, but not least, I can give you cute kitties too.
[img]https://dl.dropbox.com/s/8z0aqa8324n2s65/Kitty%20Pile.jpg[/img]